unstable idlling-stalling im going nuts

[leadfoot6]

I would also try disconnecting the Air Flow Meter to force it into "limp home" mode.

12 months ago I ended up with a failing AFM and the local mechanic told me to unplug the AFM connector.

It stopped the dangerous stalling and the need to frantically prod the accelerator pedal to keep the engine running.

I was able to drive the car gently for 3 days whilst waiting for the replacement AFM to arrive in the mail.

It will cause an error light to show, but it might give some guidance as to what the problem might be.

You can't lose by trying my suggestion, as if it doesn't fix your problem, just reconnect the AFM connector and clear the error code by powering down the battery.